Why I Don’t “What I Ate Wednesday”

peanut-butter-oatmeal

How many of you out there follow a blog that features “What I Ate Wednesday?” Raise your hands high, now–and then look around. I bet you see a lot of (imaginary, virtual) hands in the air. During the days of … Continue reading 

5 Ways to Start Letting Go of Food Rules

habit

Back when I was training to become a figure competitor (aka during my last and worse relapse with ED), I thought I had it all figured out: The carefully researched broscience in my muscle magazines told me that I was … Continue reading 

UN-Podcast 019: UNtimed

Moon-Silhouette

[source] I’ve said it before, but I think it bears repeating (again and again, since it seems to surprise me every time): our paths are inexplicably intertwined with the paths of those who need to be a part of our … Continue reading 

UN-Podcast 013: UNintentional

runners-legs

[SOURCE] You guys. Please, if you do nothing else today, GO LISTEN TO THE FINDING OUR HUNGER PODCAST.  Seriously. Episode 013 is just. so. good. We talked with my friend Andrea Feucht of andreaworks.com, and it was just such a fantastically organic, … Continue reading 

Why I’m Angry, or Everybody Has an Eating Disorder

eating-disorder-body-dysmorphic-disorder

In case you were wondering, today is International No Diet Day.  Warning: triggers ahead.  I am so angry. I am so angry, and sick to my stomach. I’m sick and tired of ED. I’m sick and tired of disordered eating … Continue reading 

The Challenge [GUEST POST]

The Challenge

Guess what, guys? I’m on the front page of Proud2BMe.org! Proud2BMe, part of the National Eating Disorders Association and founded in the Netherlands by the mental health organization Riverduinen, is an incredible resource that promotes positive body image and eating disorder recovery … Continue reading 

Becoming ED: The Female Athlete Triad and Amenorrhea

Starving for a fitness model body

There’s a point in your disordered eating when you become your disorder. When, without realizing it, you stop separating your own body from the image of ED in your head. And suddenly: your body starts to comply. You want to … Continue reading 

The Disappearing Woman

The disappearing woman, Too thin, anorexic

I know that, at least for me, the idea of sexuality is a huge trigger. My first kiss was preceded by a panic attack in my high school’s “zen garden” and directly followed by a drive home during which I … Continue reading 

Sex with ED, or Let Me Be Frank*

Muscular legs in heels

*Just a note for those of you who know my father, no, this has nothing to do with him or the Elektra complex. I’m talking about Eating Disorders, or ED for short, thankyouverymuch.     During my very expensive mistake … Continue reading